[Hat tip to my עקרת הבית]
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Author: pitputim
I've enjoyed being a computer science professor in Melbourne, Australia, as well as band leader/singer for the Schnapps Band over many years. My high schooling was in Chabad and I continued at Yeshivat Kerem B'Yavneh in Israel and later in life at Machon L'Hora'ah, Yeshivas Halichos Olam. View all posts by pitputim
pitputim 
Sorry, just had to ask you. If you did a full wedding gig for me (Schnapps), I gave you a deposit and then after the wedding I said point blank, “i’m not paying you” with no, or a lame, excuse, would you speak to me again when you see me? Wishing everyone an easy fast, healthy year and sechel to differentiate right from wrong.
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I would speak to Rav Schachter first.
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I can tell you that I have had about 3 instances thus far in my career where there has been some funny business. I won’t go into details. In one case (a fellow from Adass) did the right thing and agreed he was wrong. In one case (a fellow from various shules) did the wrong thing and ignored me, and in the final case, a female in question was an outright liar, and to be honest, I’m not sure I had ever said a word to her before that. I have probably seen her from the distance a few times, but I simply feel sorry for her as I saw she was a pathological liar.
My life goes on. I will leave you with this true story. I was booked over the phone for a small wedding. A word alone, is a booking. Deposits have never been part of my career, I (perhaps stupidly) believe people. End of story. A very very high class and well known Toorak type wanted Schnapps subsequently for the same night. He offered to pay me triple my normal rate and for a much bigger band, and to also pay for a replacement band for my other client. I refused. I never told the first client anything. It was one of my proudest nights. I (try) to keep my word.
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One possibility: you could have told the first wedding people you can get a replacement band for them and NOT charge them anything, and if OK with them, do the second gig for triple, and EVERYONE WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY. (Most things have elegant simple solutions when people are cooperating with each other.)
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I could have, but my moral compass didn’t let me!
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And I would like to suggest to people that barefaced lies are ok when you are trying to help someone. If you are driving past an elderly person you know and offer them a lift, and they but they are going in the opposite direction, you can lie and tell them you have to go in their direction anyway to pick up something. They feel better and everyone wins in a menshlich way. With the wedding you can lie and not tell the people the whole story about the second wedding etc etc. Simple solutions abound when people are on the same side.
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You are right, but that’s so someone doesn’t get hurt etc. I just felt dirty doing a “deal” because someone had more money
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You should consider what other people would prefer above what you prefer. This is true ahavas Yisroel. One level is don’t do to them what they would not like. A higher level is do what they would like. They may have preferred a freebie over you doing the gig perhaps? Gotta get going. Live long and prosper from another Cohen.
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What they don’t know won’t hurt them, but what I knew bothered me. So I took the straight path. You can’t go wrong with the straight path. That’s what my father ע’’ה told me always.
A vort iz a vort. And that’s that.
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