To meat or meet?

What would or should you do?
You are one of a bunch of madrichim/counsellors at an American style summer camp for young primary age kids, many of whom have limited exposure to Judaism.
To show their gratitude and hospitality, the parents of one child, who keep a kosher home, invited the counsellors to dinner, during the nine days.
Unfortunately, they didn’t consider the need for milchigs, and a nice meat meal was served.

Do you politely decline, and all claim to be vegetarians?
Can attending a Siyum after the event help?
Should you consider that embarrassing the hostess is worse than keeping one part of Minhag Aveylus?
I’m aware that there are leniencies when one encounters royalty and the like during the nine days; does this count?

I hear some of you quoting the “fifth” chelek of Shulchan Aruch which encourages you to be a mensch at all times.

I haven’t looked into this. Any insights?

Author: pitputim

I've enjoyed being a computer science professor in Melbourne, Australia, as well as band leader/singer for the Schnapps Band. My high schooling was in Chabad and I continued at Yeshivat Kerem B'Yavneh in Israel and later in life at Machon L'Hora'ah, Yeshivas Halichos Olam.

4 thoughts on “To meat or meet?”

  1. “The Shulchon Oruch has four sections; the so-called fifth chelek (section) is the unwritten law of common sense.”

    “There is indeed,” the rabbi said. “Common sense is the fifth volume, and if you don’t have it, all your rulings will be of no use, even if you know the other four volumes by heart.” http://www.

    Any sources for your definition “which encourages you to be a mensch at all times.”?


  2. It’s really nOt a big deal to truck through pirkei Avos in a few minutes or one of te מסכתות קטנות . This is base on wat I hav seen In sha’arei halocho uminhag- based on a letter of the lubavitcher rebbe obm


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