Some of my readers will be wondering if my thought processes have dried up over the last few weeks. They haven’t. My father, הכ’’מ passed away on the 3rd of Shvat, and I’ve obviously been under a non-self imposed emotional embargo and an halachic odyssey with הלכות אבילות (may nobody ever have to study this). I will resume soon, as soon as I catch up with life’s backlog.
My father and I, at the Bris of his first Great Grandson.
I've enjoyed being a computer science professor in Melbourne, Australia, as well as band leader/singer for the Schnapps Band.
My high schooling was in Chabad and I continued at Yeshivat Kerem B'Yavneh in Israel and later in life at Machon L'Hora'ah, Yeshivas Halichos Olam.
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As a fellow member of the kaddish club, having lost my Father zt”l as a teenager. I strongle recomend for your peace of mind that you find yourself ONE rav to ask all of you aveilus shailos to and simply disregard anything you hear or read.
Hilchos aveilus are mostly minhag and having more than one “final” arbitar of which halachic shitos to follow is just very confusing and frustrating.
pitputim 
Boruch dayan emes
sorry to learn of you and your family’s loss
haMakom yinachem eschem
PH
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Baruch Dayan HaEmes Isaac.
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Hamakom yinachem eschem bisoch shaar aveilei tziyon viyerushalayim.
As a fellow member of the kaddish club, having lost my Father zt”l as a teenager. I strongle recomend for your peace of mind that you find yourself ONE rav to ask all of you aveilus shailos to and simply disregard anything you hear or read.
Hilchos aveilus are mostly minhag and having more than one “final” arbitar of which halachic shitos to follow is just very confusing and frustrating.
Keep strong my brother.
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